How to have a very BULLSH!T Valentine’s Day

Ha! I like this!

BULLSHiT

For some reason, Valentine’s Day represents all kinds of pressures for both individuals in a relationship, so we’ve decided to do a good deed and help you all out this year. We’ve been kind enough to put together a crash course for Valentine’s Day, detailing the perfect gifts, sexy ideas, dates and cards to impress your loved one, or seduce a new interest.

We guarantee that these romantic tips will not only make your relationship 100% stronger and happier, but they will also increase your weekly servings of red meat.

Perfect gifts:

A one year gym membership:
Being comfortable enough to try and change your partner’s physical appearance is the emotional equivalent of second base. And remember, nothing says “happy one month anniversary” like trying to lock someone into a binding relationship for the next year.

Chocolate moulded into the shape of their face (or genitals):
Caesar had statues built to remember his…

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