The Dispersion Of Attachments

How many people are trying to get over their EX? Millions I would say and those people are a crying, emotional, and regretful bunch.  Memories and thoughts of the past echo through every emotion because relationships are dreams, and when those relationships fail, our dreams with it die. RELATIONSHIPS = DEATH.  Haha just kidding… breakups are comparable to death and require a mourning period. There are different ways to mourn the death of a relationship.

  1. Rebound….Takes the mind off the situation and person. This can cause major drama in the meantime and cause a vicious cycle of rebounds that never end till all we all are is a rebound (bummer)
  2. Excessive drinking…helps to numb all the depressing feelings that creep up over every corner, temporarily or at least until the next run to the liquor store. Its possible to cause a real funeral doing this (all bad)
  3. Obsession…Everyone gets a little crazy sometimes and who doesn’t feel flattered knowing that everything about them is being over thought and what really is wrong with calling them 50 times just to hear their voice over 1 more time (overboard)

I remember my first love very well and its demise even more. I remember tears spilling over people who looked like him, said the same words as him.  The pain was practically physical as my heart ached I wondered how I would ever live without him.  Foolishly so, as I was young and in love, the dream of having a family and being  together forever was like floating on a cloud with the occasional  sunless day.  One day a thunderstorm struck and my love took form of raindrops that dropped heavily and soon evaporated thereafter. The correct way to mourn was through time and eventual healing of my heart, soul, and mind. Time apart with gradual separation from  memories and past hopes for the future was the only way I successfully moved on and could let my heart mend. Duct tape really does fix everything BTW 😉

Why???? There are many reasons why relationships fail and die a rotten death. Sometimes mistakes are made, love is taken for granted, we fall for the worst match for us, or sometimes it is just not meant to be. Each relationship is like a stop in the road. Some are caution and yield signs.  Other relationships are stop signs and heaven forbid we run those. With each passing one we need to pause to reflect and learn from it, not doing so causes you to be unprepared for oncoming traffic which leads to accidents (possible unwanted kids, domestic violence, crappy in-laws, messy divorces, etc).  At the end of the trip we will all make it to our destination but without the stops we can’t really appreciate or be happy to be there finally. Breakups are needed to help us get to who we should be with and fill us with the compassion to enjoy the right one.

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Why Valentines Day Sucks

February 14 is a crappy bullshit holiday. Why am I so bitter you ask? I am not actually, I just feel everyday you should treat your man/woman like gold not just one day out if the year. Alot of people place the value of their relationship on a single day instead of valuing every moment with them. Yes, I am single but you won’t see me crying about being alone, I enjoy being single. Unfortunately, most of my single friends don’t feel the same and I’ll be on the phone with teary eyed ladies and even gents who want to know why they must suffer a reminder that they haven’t found “the one” yet. Valentines day hurts more people I think, then helps. In the past I’ve had my share of roses, fine dining, chocolates, and teddy bears and that was all great but all material as well. I can’t say I miss spending money trying to impress that special someone either. Well I hope the truly in love enjoy the day, for the rest of us…remember, it is just another Thursday ; )

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“Hey Jealousy”

Have you ever been in love and got a little  jealous over the attention your mate gets from other men/women? Everyone gets a little jealous sometimes. I think a small amount of jealousy can be flattering and can help a relationship even. It is when it becomes excessive or crazy that it can become damaging.

They say jealousy is an ugly monster and it eats away at you…Truth. People can get sooo caught up in personal jealousy that they start to make mountains out of mole hills and question EVERYTHING. What if….? What does that mean? you get the point. This is so stressful and destructive on a person’s relationship and when inner peace becomes lost over it, it is so not worth it.

In this day in age, social media has provided a gateway to deceitful behavior and it is the easiest it has ever been to lie and cover the tracks. People can have doubles lives and as close as you think you are to someone, the further you may actually be from your “real” significant other. Deleting text messages, inboxed messages, and deleting call history enables the cheater and feeds the worrying jealous nature of the dating world.

I can say from personal experience that I have had more than one of my friend’s girlfriends’ call or text me wanting an explanation for our friendship. Jealousy drives many men and women to step outside of their happy content selves to the extremes like stalking and invading privacy. Before you know it, people can become totally consumed by this need when really, they just need to stop being so insecure and learn to handle a little competition. If you do not want anyone flirting with your man/woman, date an ugly person 😉 Communication and open honesty is key in relationships but it seems our society is forgetting how to talk out loud. People can still be trusted in this day of endless temptations, opportunity, and lustful intentions. Once sex became easier to get love became harder to find and trust issues maximized. Once you let your jealousy get the best of you, paranoia will set in but if you just stop to think about some of the things in this short list before you get caught up, it might give you some peace of mind.

  1. Do NOT go through your significant others phone, it is an invasion of privacy and although some say you shouldn’t have anything to yourself in a relationship if there are no secrets but think of how paranoid you will end up wondering if everything YOU say could be taken the wrong way…
  2. Be happy when people flirt with your man/woman…you’re dating someone attractive and charming and they are all yours, lucky you! Self Confidence is a key factor in jealousy.
  3. Do not let it makes you become a crazy person, insanity is NOT attractive and your actions could push them away from you.
  4. If someone is making you jealous ask yourself why do you really feel that way? Is the situation a just cause for such a feeling? If so, communication may be needed to set boundaries to prevent crossing the line.

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All Is Fair in Love and Cheesecake

They say all is fair in love and war but what is REALLY unfair is cheesecake. How can something much like love, be so good yet have such negative long term effects? By this I mean, it is great while your eating it right? Tasty deliciousness with every bite and swallow. So you take another bite and enjoy it like an orgasm in your mouth. Love is great while you are in love, happy giddiness and butterflys. Smiling like an idiot all day and it’s great feeling.

Problem is…Cheesecake is filled with calories and calories become pounds so on and so on. How can something taste so good but be so bad for you? It is simply unfair that it can make you gain weight and effect your overall appearance.  How can love create such happiness and such heartbreak when it is over or reaches a rough patch? The answer is simple, there needs to be balance in life. To much of anything is not good for you. Moderation is key and this applies to love as well because with cheesecake, you must be informed of the possible “consequences” before taking the plunge . As great as these wonderful things in life are, sometimes things just aren’t “fair”. 

Love and Flower Gardens

Love is a lot like a flower garden. Both of which require time, patience, dedication, and perseverance.

A flower garden begins with healthy soil rich with nutrients ready for growing. Next, seeds are planted and now begins the steady growing and blossoming process. This process cannot begin in unhealthy soil as it will quickly wither. Love is much like this as you must be ready and complete before attempting to start a relationship otherwise it withers right away. Loving yourself first and foremost is essential as no one can complete you, only add/compliment your existing brilliance. Once the seed has been planted, natural chemistry takes and growth begins. One of the most beautiful feelings is falling in love I think most people would agree. 

    After the garden begins to sprout and flowers begin to blossom, it requires constant TLC. Fall behind and the stems and petals begin to fall apart. If you give up or become neglectful, weeds grow and the flowers become subjected to the elements. It takes time and dedication for your relationship as well and love grows over time from a single flower to an abundance of color and beauty. If you neglect your partners’ needs, wants, and desires, and it too will wither. Moral of the story is… Love is like a garden, with time and dedication your end result will beautiful!

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